The most aggravating fake quote in existence...

“I’m selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can’t handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best.”
 

-Marilyn Monroe

 

            Unsurprisingly, it took me a mere five seconds to find this quote. I had only to type “Marilyn Monroe” into Google before my laptop screen was filled with this statement repeated 100 times over. Lately, it seems that this is everyone’s favorite quote. Last spring, Nicki Minaj further legitimized it by using it as the basis for a song in which she compares her plight with that of the late Marilyn. No comment…

            I don’t know Nicki, but I do know that she made a mistake with this quote. Six years ago, I was a high school freshman only just beginning to discover a passion for films and an admiration of the wise, talented actress of today’s post. At that time, I bought into the quote that now has me sighing in frustration whenever I see it online or on somebody’s body in tattoo form.

            This quote just screams, “I’m fake!” to me. Never in my six years of reading and watching interviews and flipping through biographies have I come across this quote. And I can almost guarantee that if you asked someone in their 80s (someone who was alive when Monroe was), they’d say the same. The quote simply doesn’t have a source. Plus, the more interviews I listen to, the more obvious it becomes that it simply doesn’t sound like Marilyn Monroe. Content of the message aside, the statement is too pre-packaged. Marilyn’s interviews are fun to listen to because she didn’t speak in platitudes. She had wit, yet she spoke freely. She stumbled over her thoughts, she took long pauses and she stuttered occasionally. In other words, she spoke like an actual person rather than like the robot she’d almost have to be to come out with the above, neatly-packaged statement on a whim.

            Now let’s consider the words themselves. “Selfish, impatient and a little insecure” are all attributes that we popularly attribute to Marilyn Monroe the legend. Marilyn Monroe the woman was far too complex to be defined by any one statement, and I’m certainly not going to attempt that here. But listen to her interviews. She rarely listed off her faults without offering any context, and I can’t see her saying to any interviewer, “I am out of control.” Interestingly, that part of the quote doesn’t always appear. People will tweak these fake quotes to suit their own interpretation of the person in question.

            If you like this quote, I’m not saying that you shouldn’t. To be honest, I’d probably enjoy it much more if it wasn’t constantly attributed to someone whom I know did not say it.  To ask Nicki Minaj's question, "Is this how Marilyn Monroe felt?" I don't know. Maybe she did. But she never said so in words. As far as I’m concerned, her real quotes were infinitely wittier, wiser and more inspiring.

“Those things the press has been saying about me [are fine] if they want to give the wrong impression. It’s as simple as all that. I’m not interested in being a millionaire. The one thing a person wants most in life is usually something basic that money can’t buy. I’m not the girl next door - I’m not a goody-goody - but I think I’m human.”

        -Marilyn Monroe to George Barris in 1962

 

 

  

I've wondered about this one for a while...

As much as I adore this quote, I find it impossible to believe that Albert Einstein uttered these words. They have no source. And no lost interview or manuscript could've produced a quote that has reached the level of Internet fame that this one has. If one compares this popular statement to those of his for which exists documentation, it’s easy to see that Einstein spoke with a degree of eloquence (and sometimes obscurity) that is simply is missing from the quote in question. It’s a beautiful (and, I think, a very true) quote. Yet, compare it to what Einstein told E. Mulder in April 1954:

"Fear or stupidity has always been the basis of most human actions."

Einstein acknowledged the complexity inherent in each individual. Good and evil, intelligence and ignorance--a person could possess each of these qualities simultaneously. For him to have made the blanket statement, "everyone is a genius" is unbelievable to me. The quote is too optimistic--too gimmicky. On the other hand, the man wore fuzzy slippers, so I suppose nothing is too farfetched where he is concerned. I would avoid attributing that quote to him, though.

 

Welcome!

"The thing about quotes on the Internet is that it's difficult to verify their authenticity."

-Abraham Lincoln

He’s right, you know! Illegitimate quotes lurk everywhere. And I can embarrassingly admit that the first time I read this Lincoln quote, at least five seconds passed before I realized that the word “Internet” couldn’t possibly have come from the mouth of our 16^th president. I had to laugh. I who constantly lament fake quotes fell for the most obvious one, even if only for a moment. Yes, it’s funny, but it highlights how easily people can get sucked in even when they’ve sworn they won’t. Keep in mind, too, that this particular “faux” quote is meant to be amusing, not taken seriously. Unfortunately, I can’t say the same for the rest of them. Most of them are taken very seriously—by thousands of individuals—not because people are stupid or lazy, but because they don’t know where to start to dig for the truth. In any case, they probably don’t have time. Thus, nofauxquotes is my way of doing that work for everyone else, so stay tuned…